I did find some HTML Rich Text Editor. It's not something I can embed into my website then spit out as an HTML page, because after all, Neocities only host static pages. But ah, I always find a way. It's nice, hehe. I am stubborn like that.
Ah, the status isn't working, because somehow, the RSS of my braincell provider is not working, but then again. Come on. I'm using an HTML comment box as my fucking microblog. Maybe, they're sending me a signal to tone the fuck down. And this night, I tried to find an alternative. Something I can do on my own?
I should really look back into using Glitch or some content management system or the like. I still want a microblog, because it helps me get my brain functional and not heavy with thoughts. Then blogs like this help my brain just unload.
I learned about some people using Notion as their CMS, and I tried it today, but the deployment method was to Vercel, and I don't have a Vercel. Which fucking sucks, because I have Neocities as my hosting already, so why do I need another?
That said, I did go into a search spiral, looking for a dynamic website hosting. There's somethings I'd like to try. Such as building my own guestbook app. The sort.
God, I hate how my nights are just so productive, and I can't spend any time being just Hehe and useless. Sarcasm obviously, but... hmmm. I might be ADHD, and coding websites really showed me (and my friends) that I hyperfixate a lot. And it's an obsession almost. I still have it under control. I'm not losing sleep, I'm eating properly, but it's on my mind constantly.
I say shit like, "I'd like to go home and code!"
And god, I also really need to learn more about web development. My ass still freezes up when I see tutorials that feature the CMD. And yes, Notion as CMS uses that. So.
Also, god help me. I really quite like her. It's dumb, and I really wish I'd get over this soon. Ah, I heard Utada Hikaru's Friend or Tomodachi (友達) song, and my heart just went. Ah. Lord. Oh well. This sucks. It's pleasant. It's nice I like someone, but it's also so, so, so tiring, and I wish I only saw her as my friend. Nothing else. Having a crush is exhausting. I try to look for signs my crush likes me, too, and it's... narrowing. I fell in love before, and I wanted to give her everything. Spoil her. All that stuff. I've always felt like... I gave too much of myself. And now, I see myself liking someone new again. No, each time I like someone, crushing on someone, I just tend to focus on them. What do they like? If I wore my hair this way, will they like me? If I acted like this, then, perhaps? What did that stare mean?
And see, it's so, so exhausting. Me having crushes is not a good fit. My brain is too... I really don't know how to describe my brain. I just tend to hyperfixate, and though I'm holding myself back from liking or having a crush completely on this person, I still hate it.
I hate the feeling of liking her so much.