I haven't sleep much. I was awake at 4AM or 5AM. It's 9AM. My alarm rang, and my brain could not sleep anymore. I still have things to do. But I still have thoughts that are so heavy before I could do any of my tasks for today, I want to purge them. Set them free. So to speak.
Below are the voting results. This is from a tweet. Notice how the ratio between Leni and Marcos stayed the same. People are voting, and that is too perfect. Even the line graph seems too perfect. That tweet is not the only one that noticed something odd about the voting results.
I am sure I wanted to say more but I feel an overwhelming sense of dread and gloom. It feels nauseating. I cannot imagine being a victim of the tortures during the Martial Law and seeing this happen.
Perhaps, you can say that I am safe since I live away from the Philippines. I do not have to experience what happens there. However, I still have family and friends there. In my very core, I am still Filipino.
I try to center myself, tell myself that in my little town where I reside, all is well. It will be okay. I have to tell myself that so I can function again. I feel numb. I want to be strong and keep going on. I do not want to appear weak, because Marcos's supporters are currently making fun of Leni's supporters as if it's a game. The voting is rigged. People died just to vote. People waited in line since 9AM on Election day. It's not a joke.
I am lucky because overseas voting is just at home with a ballot that you have to seal. I feel nauseated, but I must try to be okay.
My little town is okay. My parents are with me.
But the implications that come with another Marcos reigning do not look good. I still have family and friends there. I am still Filipino.
These thoughts are just so heavy.